Angry Video Game Nerd on SOPA
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Our favorite Rolling Rock-drinking, foul mouth game reviewer has a few words for a certain internet-freedom-taking bill, and he's got a lot on his mind.


**"Angry Video Game Nerd on SOPA"**

**Rated M**

**Disclaimer: I do not, I repeat, I do not own anything associated with the Angry Video Game Nerd. The character of the Angry Video Game Nerd is owned by James Rolfe and the good people of Cinemassacre.**

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As the Angry Video Game Nerd began making his way down to his basement full of games, the Guitar Guy popped up from the couch and began singing his theme song.

"He's gonna take you back to the pa-"

"Shut the fuck up, I'm not in the mood." Nerd spat at him, cutting him off.

After the Guitar Guy went down behind the couch, the Nerd took a swig of his Rolling Rock. As he shook off the nerves, he spoke to the camera.

"As you see, I'm not in a good mood to do a game review today," The Nerd sighed aggressively, "You wanna know why I'm not in the fucking mood? It's because the buzzkilling piece of shit-fuck known as SOPA is back. If you gamers don't know what this entire piece of ratpuke is, I'll show you."

Suddenly, the Nerd threw away the beer, and grabbed a little document.

"This is what SOPA is," The Nerd stated, "It stands for **S**top **O**nline **P**iracy **A**cts. That means that every fan-made thing that's made, whether it's fan-made videos, fanfiction, fanart and fanpages will be taken off. What the hell has this country come to? You're gonna tell me that fanfiction and fanart featuring me is gonna be taken off the internet without any reason whatsoever? What kind of mother-fucking, shit-sucking dick wants to do that?"

Just to control his anger, the Nerd took another swig of his Rolling Rock drink.

"I'll tell you why, those heartless dicksuckers who try to take away our fucking freedom on the internet, that's what!" The Nerd snapped, "What the hell are they gonna do? Arrest a 13-year old just because he's writing My Little Pony fics? He or she's allowed to do that! If a kid wants to write fanart of the Angry Video Game Nerd himself, then he should. It's the internet and they're allowed to do whatever the g****mn fuck they want!"

After another swig of his Rolling Rock, The Nerd kept continuing his rant.

"Whoever created this monstrous piece of retarded cow turds, I got news for you." AVGN said in a threatening tone, "If you dare pass this bill, I'm gonna come over to your house with my Power Glove and a piece of dog shit and jam it down your fucking throat. And then, I'd jam that SOPA bill up your throat too. While you're suffocating on that pile of documented dog shit, I squat down and take a big hot steaming pile of goat shit on your pretty little g****mn face! But I ain't done yet. After that is said and done, I'm gonna take a hammer and go fucking Shao Kahn on your ass! Just taking that hammer and smashing it into your fucking brain, killing you on impact."

Yet after another swig of his drink, The Nerd decided to finally end things from here.

"In conclusion people, sign the petition so we can stop SOPA before it's too late." The Nerd replied, "Without all of the fanfiction or fanart to entertain us, what's gonna happen to us now? Should we strip naked and smear nacho cheese sauce on us while we play Action 52 and draw boobies just for attention? No, I rather shove my head through an ostrichs asshole and have a horse rape me from behind than to let SOPA win! Heck, I rather grill my own dick in the barbecue and add mustard to it, while I bend over and try to suck my own dick just in case if it tasted good. Those things are way better then SOPA. Deep down, sign the petition and wipe fucking SOPA OFF THE FACE OF THIS G****MN, MOTHER-FUCKING, DICK-SUCKING, SHIT-SNORTING EARTH!"

After his rant was fully done, The Nerd sat back down with a game controller in hands, ready to play more shitty games. But he was forgetting something very important. So he turned behind the couch.

"Hey you," The Nerd replied, "You can play my song now."

Hearing the Nerd's request, the Guitar Guy popped up behind the couch and played the opening riff.

"He's gonna take you back to the past/To play the shitty games that suck ass/He rather have a buffalo take a diarrhea dump in his ear/He rather eat the rotten asshole of a roadkill skunk and down it with beer/He's the angriest gamer you ever heard/He's the Angry Nintendo Nerd/He's the Angry Atari Sega Nerd/He's the Angry Video Game Nerd..."

"Damn right I am..." The Nerd muttered.


End file.
